Circumstances and gratitude

When he bought the house, James knew about needed repairs. He researched the repair costs, anticipated the financial demand, and knew of the time and patience it would take to restore his new home. Still, his enthusiasm around the purchase remained high; he was pleased with himself and the plans he made. And the circumstances surrounding the purchase were just as he expected.

That is, until move-in day.

Placing storage boxes in the basement revealed that, in the month since purchasing the home, the foundation cracks had grown and revealed a larger problem that couldn’t be ignored. Suddenly, gratitude for this home turned into disappointment, frustration and self-doubt.

Surprising circumstances often shake our faith foundations too. When suddenly confronted with the unexpected, we respond by diminishing our core values and commitments. Finding solutions that will return us to a place of comfort and control can take priority over trust and gratitude. Disappointment often reduces our sense of gratitude for the resources of time, energy and wealth that we enjoy daily.

Disappointment is part of my everyday life, and I imagine that is true for you too. Circumstances for all of us also change frequently. Families grow, cars need repairs, tuition increases and purchases can’t wait. The question is; what gives? When car repairs demand more of the tight budget, we grab dollars from our “first fruits” meant for church or various non-profits.

But foundational values of trust, faithfulness, obedience and stewardship are non-circumstantial. We rob ourselves of opportunities to see God’s miracles at work when we suspend our commitments in favor of doing it ourselves. Gratitude is foundational, not circumstantial.

  

I encourage you to count your blessings this Thanksgiving and to include all your circumstances in that list. 

Buckets, envelopes or expense columns

Which budget management plan best describes your approach to saving, spending and gifting? I have heard others reference their household budget as if it were cash in buckets; Dave Ramsey describes the envelope system, and many others track expenses using programs like Quicken.

The tool or management style you use is less important than the perspective you have of the overall picture of earning and spending. Consider what happens to your budget when a significant change to your earnings takes place.

Whether it is a recession, a pay cut, the loss of a job, or increased expenses for childcare or tuition, how you consider the next step in a time of budget change speaks volumes about your understanding of the resources you have, where they come from, and to whom those resources belong.

In times of reduced income, we like to rationalize away our guilt for cancelled giving. We use explanations like: “I'm giving my time to church, they don't need my money and time,” or “I’m paying tuition now, that's my gift to X Christian School or Y College.”

We might even “spiritualize” our new situation by turning it over to God through the convenient belief that “When God blesses me again with a return to previous income levels, I'll start giving again” or, “If this is my new situation in life, then God understands that I can't give to charity anymore.”

I've done this dance as well, so I speak from a point of confession. Separating purchases from charity can get a bit cloudy at times. Paying tuition to a nonprofit can feel like giving to charity, especially when we have to sacrifice other purchases to cover the cost.  We join the leadership of our church and consider all the time it takes from family as a sacrifice; therefore we assume our gift is our time.

But God's abundance and resources to me, no matter the amount, do not come with this caveat from Him: “Only when I bless you with enough do you get to enjoy the blessings of giving from the first fruits of my gifts.”
 

So let's recommit to not holding back. Let's give from the best, not the lefts. Do we really have buckets of separation? Isn't it all God's to begin with? It is not the amount that matters—think of the widow's mite—but the obedience, worship and sacrifice that honor God. God's love for you is not directly correlated with your income. Your love for God motivates your worship, obedience and giving. 

Approaching

I recently accomplished a bucket list experience and gained some new insight. My Labor Day weekend 2013 was spent in San Francisco attending to the many matters involved in a family reunion. 

The time and location for this reunion coincided with the official opening of the new Bay Bridge, a global project for which my brother played a key role as engineer and project manager. This is a significant accomplishment when one considers the urgency of replacing the current bridge that could not withstand the next major earthquake.

The decision to support my brother came a few years ago—I knew I had to celebrate this pinnacle of his career and affirm a relationship that grew out of ashes. 

Due to VIP status, the opportunity to drive across this new magnificent bridge, before it was open to the public, was the privilege of only a few. Added to this privilege was the depth of my love for this brother who graciously brought healing to what was broken between us. 

Crossing the bridge at night; led by my brother, with my certificate of permission on the dashboard, unaided by security, dodging construction vehicles, slowly traversing the magnificent, beautiful and unique structure, was an experience that parallels how I should approach my God and career. 

Approaching God daily can become mundane; almost routine—similar to picking up the phone and calling for appointments to raise support. 

With as much emotion, awe, and fresh experience as crossing the new bridge—this is how I must prepare my mind, heart and soul to approach a God who is renewing, healing, forgiving and delivering grace everyday. Can I do this? Can you do this? In our daily activities of work and play, we should pay attention to the approach we take with stillness before God, with reading the scriptures and whispering our prayers, with preparing for conversations involving our work with clients, with relationships at home and work. 

God leads, freely and openly, to a place of magnificent beauty. Join me in learning to approach God, work, and all of life appropriately.  

Hospitality takes first place

Do either charity or hospitality have any part in living intentionally as a faithful steward? 

For me, being charitable comes more easily than being hospitable. Kindness, warmth, empathy and encouragement all come to mind and action easily when meeting people. When the opportunity to "entertain a stranger" comes along, my inclination is to be friendly and encouraging but I'm not sure I'm hospitable.

God's abundance is sufficient for all things, including interactions with others. By definition, to be hospitable is to be charitable, generous and sustaining of a friendly environment.  For me the question becomes how much time and energy am I willing to invest to create the sustaining environment? Do I trust God enough to provide the time and resources to be hospitable in such a way that God would be pleased?

Stewardship is so much more than what I give from my checkbook—that is the minimum, the easy part. Let's learn hospitality and not settle for charity. 

Stewarding shalom

Shalom is not an easy word to define if you depend on the English language for clarification.  I think the closest anyone has come is by using the phrase, "God's peace." A recent sermon on Jehovah Shalom (“the Lord is peace”) from the Old Testament prompted my "wonderings" about stewarding shalom. 

Shalom is given from God; it is His gift to us along with grace. A sense of shalom is captured in the beauty of creation, when all seems "right in the world," when reconciliation and renewal are evident. Still, even with our glimpses of shalom, it is so much more than we can see. It is spiritual, emotional and physical in its manifestation. I've written here previously about oikonomia, the concept of managing God's abundance to us.  Perhaps the essence of oikonomia includes stewarding shalom.

Stewarding shalom means participating in activities that bring peace, reconciliation, insight, deeper understanding and complete acceptance. Stewarding shalom is wise use of time and energy; taking in the surroundings, noticing the details, surrendering the pressure, listening to the still small voice. I find shalom after the conversations I didn't want to have, marveling at the variety of people I meet each day as well as arriving home from a business trip.  Discovering how to "take charge of stewarding shalom" is another one of the paradoxes for me. I find rest in knowing that truly “taking charge” is best accomplished by putting God in charge. 

Hospitality! Is that also something to be stewarded? Maybe I’ll probe that next time. Stay tuned.

Pair of ducks?

I love paradoxes. I enjoy explaining them to young people with the use of my favorite riddle. 

Question: What gets larger the more we take away from it? (Answer below)

Paradoxes help me grasp difficult concepts; I just don't always embrace them fully.

I believe the Scriptures are full of examples of paradoxes.

Take affirmation for example. Affirmation only comes when we surrender our self-image to God and identify ourselves as image bearers of God. Then my self-image has definition and significance.

Now think about freedom. I have often given the example of a fish in a fishbowl when explaining about the paradox of freedom. If the fish in a fishbowl desires to jump out into the larger world, the fish obviously surrenders to death. Accepting the boundaries of the glass fishbowl actually bring freedom and life. Accepting my circumstances as a gift from God versus my own selfish ambitions frees me to serve him more fully and gratefully.

The idea of paradox applies to managing God's abundance too. Learning to give freely is also paradoxical: Abundant living is actually a result of abundant giving.

Answer: A hole

Where is your line?

Like many I have encountered along the way, the question of how much is enough has become a common thread of conversations pertaining to stewardship, philanthropy, tithing and generosity.

My recent trip to the Q conference in LA provided helpful insight. If the goal is to learn to not live in excess of generosity, then determining the line of "enough" is necessary.

I really appreciated the challenge presented by Jeff Shinabarger, Founder of GiftCardGiver.com: "Is generosity possible in an age of self?"

In a culture that successfully convinces us that we always need to have more, it is important for us to learn to shed the excess of our lives. Imagine the continuum of suffering, enough and excess. We can more easily assess the difference between want and need when we realize that “want” is anything greater than enough, and “need” those things that reduce our suffering and bring us closer to the line of enough.

When we choose to live with less, we stop living in excess of generosity and we stop the cycle of want more, spend more, get more.

Experience matters more than acquiring.

A really lovely experience just two weeks ago; listening to a younger man express gratefulness for how blessed he is. In contrast to a culture of entitlement, this experience stands out as one of the top fund raising stories of the past 7 years. After completing medical school, residency and landing in a spot just right for him, he chooses to impact the lives of others similar to him before acquiring the new home and starting the family. Not sure who had greater joy that day; the giver or the listener? 

Is there an app for that?

Remember the school days when the guest speaker came to give a care-for-the-earth pep talk? That’s when I started turning off the water while brushing my teeth and feeling guilty for long showers. Conserving water is a good thing; it’s environmentally conscious and it fosters responsible stewardship. The pep talk gave us the awareness and motivation we needed to take action in this area.

My wife and I recently purchased an ’09 Camry, complete with onscreen monitoring of our gas usage. While traveling through the city and down the highway, this vehicle records and reports our usage. My driving habits have been significantly impacted by this immediate feedback—my acceleration has slowed, I roll to a stop far in advance, and I find myself setting the cruise control lower. The feedback (and subsequent personal goal setting) has had an amazing influence on my driving. I’m conserving fuel like never before, and I’m highly motivated to increase my miles per gallon with every new tank.

It makes me wonder: What if there was an app for my stewardship of God’s abundance to me? If my iPhone recorded my daily efforts at sharing my wealth, would that awareness make me more motivated? And is this motivation the appropriate motivation?

The end results of my changed driving habits are positive in so many ways, carrying me another step in learning to manage God’s abundance to me. Overall, I like this modern day shift in consciousness towards stewardship. How about you?

Revealing contrast speaks volumes

The Widow’s Offering
As Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. “Truly I tell you,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.”

The Destruction of the Temple and Signs of the End Times
Some of his disciples were remarking about how the temple was adorned with beautiful stones and with gifts dedicated to God. But Jesus said, “As for what you see here, the time will come when not one stone will be left on another; every one of them will be thrown down.” Luke 21:1-6 (NIV)

A Lenten commitment brings me into the book of Luke this season. A previously unnoticed contrast struck me recently: The story of the widow's mite is set in the temple grounds. Jesus observed the sacrifice of the widow giving all she had, and next we read of the disciples asking about the beauty that adorns the temple. Jesus' response is to talk of the destruction of such things and to encourage them to not be deceived.

Deceived by what? The false security of comforts that come and go and quickly fade? The impression that wealth provides safety, security, protection and evidence of “rich” faith?

Jesus knew the widow's heart; her motivation was the love she had for her God. She had no fear, reminding me of 1 John 4:18, which says there is no fear in love—perfect love drives out fear.

Do I have the love exemplified by the widow, or do I hold tightly to what will fade away? Do I have the courage to live like the widow? Am I willing to give all I have with no worry about tomorrow? These are questions I can carry with me throughout Lent, and beyond.

Ramsey: Only part of the story

Prior to my oldest getting married more than eight years ago, my wife and I provided tickets for our four children to attend a Dave Ramsey presentation. Each child was nearing the years when they would be managing their own accounts and moving out of the house, and our hope was to have them begin the good practices of budgeting and a commitment to debt-free living.

The presentation illuminated several good points about establishing wise habits in personal finance. At the conclusion of the event, a personal testimony was given, which included the assertion that young people should not go into debt for college tuition.

I was uncomfortable at the time and have since come to realize why I thought the example was problematic: The "pay as you go mantra" was based on a false assumption. For Ramsey, the college education is about the degree; the piece of paper at the end of the four years that helped you get a job, not about the life formation of thinking and character that develops during the college years.

In the past two weeks, several conversations with students and graduates have solidified my thoughts. Students shared with me the life-changing experiences and formation of character that took place during their time in Christian college. Vocation became about everyday life and choices; not just the job.

College education choices also have to be about stewardship of the mind and heart; developing both to full potential. Choosing an institution of higher education should not be based solely on the question: "Where can I go to gain a degree and remain debt-free"?

If a career is, as I believe, more about learning to live daily in fulfillment than getting a paycheck at the end of the month, then perhaps the education that prepares you for that career should be based on more than the degree at the end of your studies. 

The “O” word

Four years ago a seed was planted by a friend of Calvin College!

A conversation began standing around a kitchen counter—sharing, praying, celebrating God's abundance. It was then I learned of the Stewardship Bible; now a daily part of my life. Years of disciplined reading the scriptures because it was a good habit has turned into eager anticipation of "what do YOU have for me today?" 

Reading the scriptures from a perspective of stewardship has made me familiar with the Greek word "Oikonomia." It is the root of the word for economy. More than that, it is a word that means "managing a household." All that is entrusted to me demands my faithful attention, my intentional watch of detail, my purposeful accountability. I like to think of all these perspectives as definition to the task I am called to, a task we are believers are all called to, that of stewardship.

Oikonomia was chosen with intention as the subject of this blog. Let's travel this road together. Enjoy, respond, change, adapt and join me on this journey of understanding stewardship. Those who know me know of my love for adventure; this journey is not for the weak of heart.